Traditions from Sorrow

2 years ago yesterday we buried my little boy. I had not even realized what day it was until we were at the mall turning in our Salvation Army Angel Tree gifts.  A tradition that was born when I was at the mall looking for a dress to wear to my son's funeral.

We walked out of Penny's & there was the Angel Tree.  The fist tag I saw was for a little boy Robert's age.  I immediately took it off the tree.  I had bought a ton of new clothes & lots of toys for Robert.  We returned a few days later with a Huge contractors bag filled with gifts for this little boy.  At least I knew someone was going to have a Merry Christmas that year.

We had been "adopting" an Angel from the Salvation Army Tree for about 3 years before that day.  My step-son's school had a tree in their lobby & we always picked a little boy that was the same age he was at the time.  I would take my step-son & the Princess with me when we went shopping for the angel.  I always wanted them to know that Christmas was not just about getting, but giving as well.

This tradition was different.  I always pick a little boy who is the same age Robert would be on that Christmas.  We give the gifts in memory of Robert & that is always how I fill out the donation card.

My heart beamed when this year the Princess said to me "Mommy I wanna give the bag to the lady at the table."  She lifted the bag that was pretty much as big as she is onto the table & smiled a huge smile.  "Here are Jason's Christmas presents!" 

I started to cry.  I cried for Jason's family; knowing how hard it is to give your children a Merry Christmas & still be able to pay the bills.  I cried because yet again my daughter showed me that I am doing a good job as a parent.  She has an even bigger heart than her Momma & that is just amazing for a 6 year old. 

Most of all I cried for my Bubby.  I should be buying him Christmas presents, picking out a Christmas outfit to match the Princess.  Not picking out flowers for his grave or figuring out what to do for his grave blanket this year.  I pray Jason & his family have a very Merry Christmas this year.